Don't Let Money Ruin Your Love Life
Money and love. Somehow the two just don't seem to go together harmoniously. I mean of course we need it, but it's not very romantic to talk about. In fact, when it comes to money, men and women view it, spend it, and invest it very differently.
Even in the 21st century; despite more and simpler ways to manage money, tons of books on the subject, and just plain having more access to wealth, there is one thing we seem dead set against doing with our money, and that's talking about it.
With money being the unspoken taboo, it's little wonder that disagreements over the green stuff are the leading cause of divorce nationwide. It might not be romantic to whisper words like "interest rates," and "free checking" in your partner's ear, but keeping quiet about money can put a damper on your love life faster than forgetting what your girlfriend wore on your first date.
"Money is an emotional-laden thing; we spend because others are doing it," says Tahira Hira, a finance professor at Iowa State University who conducted a study comparing men's and women's financial behaviors.
The study found that women were far more likely to buy something without needing it (36 percent vs. 18 percent), buy something because it's on sale (24 percent vs. 5 percent), shop impulsively (36 percent vs. 18 percent) and shop to celebrate (31 percent vs. 19 percent).
"The shop-‘til-you-drop syndrome is more than a harmless female pastime; it also deprives woman of the opportunity to grow money through investing," says Hira. "In their 20s and 30s, when their male counterparts are buying homes and investing in mutual funds, many women are spending on clothes, cars and decorating their apartment."
According to the study, "46 percent of male respondents said money worries interfere with their relationships and 55 percent of the women said managing money troubles interferes with their lives and work."
There's no right (or romantic) time to talk about money, but as soon as you start getting really serious (i.e., talking about getting married, moving in together, going on vacations, etc.) that's the time to have "the talk."
Here are a few pointers to get you prepped to talk about money with your honey:
- Have a calculator and make a list of all joint expenses. Be very specific about what each of you will need to pay.
- Read the fine print on lease applications and rental agreements. Know your rights.
- Be realistic about how often you'll go out, how much you'll spend and who will be responsible for paying.
- Be open and clear about what will happen if the arrangement doesn't work out as planned.
- Always keep at least one credit card, checking and/or savings account in your name only. Having access to your own money in case of an emergency, and establishing a good personal credit history will ensure you can bounce back from a break-up or any other setback.
Love and money can go together nicely. If you take time to cuddle with compound interest and snuggle up with a savings plan, it's not only smart...it can be sexy, too!
Sanyika Calloway Boyce is the author of four books, she travels nationwide to educate, empower, entertain and enlighten students about money, credit and debt. This former debt-strapped college student shares real and relevant money messages that young adults can relate to and understand. Visit her online today at FinancialFitnessCoach.com.
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