Singles Find Love & Friendship Online
Tin Gamboa never thought she'd see her friend Ranela Ferer again when the two parted ways right before high school. After spending some time in the Philippines, Ferer moved to the United States with her family, while Gamboa moved on to finish college in Manila. After spending 11 years on different continents and without any communication, they bumped into each other again online.
"She used to be picked on and bullied because of her ethnicity," says Gamboa. "I searched for her through Friendster and found out she's now a successful R & B artist in California. I'm so proud of her."
Gamboa and Ferer's reunion is only one of the many search-and-find stories that are happening these days as millions of young adults discover the power of social networking websites such as Friendster, Myspace, Orkut, MeetUp, Tickle and Tribe.
"Friendster is only a specie of a larger genus which is social networking in America," says Gerald Goodman, a psychology professor at UCLA. "And it has been going on for years."
Who's Your Neighbor?
In the past, people were only able to associate with folks they ran into at work, in school, or in their community. Geography played a crucial role in building relationships, be it romantic or for friendship. But as individuals started moving around, the opportunities to make a connection out of proximity became slimmer, according to Patricia Wallace, Ph.d., director of informational services and instructional technology at Johns Hopkins University.
Wallace raises a valid point: nowadays, most people living in an apartment building don't even know each other. Moreover, our relationship needs have become so specific that we try to find that special person who is one out of 10,000. And because we may not meet such people while walking down the street, singles often need to resort to other methods of finding our match, for friendship or other things.
Enter the Internet. This technology is extending our networking capacity, enabling us to establish interaction across space with old and new friends who share our values, hobbies and interests.
"I like the simplicity of the format," says Ace Hain, a member of Friendster since last June. "I also like the feature that shows how I'm connected to someone. Who knows, maybe down the line, I'd find out I'm connected to a celebrity!"
Still, social networking online involves more than just tracking down long-lost friends and building new relationships.
"This is about reputation," explains UCLA's Goodman. "The main idea is that reputation has a lot to do with meeting people. Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are. How popular are you? How many friends do you have on your list? How do these friends regard you? The comments and testimonials they write about you can pretty much sum up your personality for others who don't know you."
Developing Trust
This concept of social networking online relies heavily on honesty and establishing trust. There's a great deal of self-disclosure involved. Myspace.com even asks users to list their income and religion on their profile page. The premise is that the more you share about yourself, the more people will be able to connect themselves to you.
The reality, however, is that people lie online. If we can fib in normal conversations where we talk to another person face to face, what about on the Internet, where the only witness is your keyboard?
And if even if we don't lie, we can exaggerate. When people are expected to use a keyboard to create an impression to others, we have the opportunity to embellish our personality, presenting ourselves as somebody more interesting than we actually are in real life.
"Just as we try to manage the impression we make in person by wearing accoutrements or make-up, we do the same thing online," says Wallace.
Obviously, this is just one similarity. The dynamics of a face-to-face setting are different from online interaction, where many constraints are dropped. Naturally, people can become more uninhibited online
"There are things we don't normally tell our friends personally," says Billy Cole, a Friendster member since last May. "Somehow it's easier to write it down as testimonials."
The growth of specialized online communities is expected to make social networking even more attractive to the college-age crowd. So go ahead and indulge if you must . . . but be careful what personal information you share with others.
© 2008, Young Money Media, LLC. All rights reserved.
